Toss a Coin
by Strange G1rl
Summary: Alice Lorens is the only victim that survived from Red John. She wonders why did he choose her and why did he kill her parents. She wants revenge so she decides to join the CBI team and solve the Red John Case. Will Jane help her or will Alice help him? He soon realized that Alice isn't an ordinary girl. Maybe there's a mystery behind her story that even she doesn't know.R&R please
1. Prologue

Dear Diary,

It's the first time I'm writing so don't get angry at my stupid sentences. I was told to write down my thoughts and show my emotions. I'm feeling like screaming. I don't believe they know how I feel or what I think. No, they have no idea about nothing. They act like they know us and our feelings but they are simply pretending. I wish they could stop that, but I know, that's their job.

I'm 17 years old girl and my name's "one and only". That's the name I received from the police. I'm not pretty popular and I've never been showed in the TV, but people know me. This nickname was given just because of one reason. I became the only victim who managed to survive from the infamous serial killer RJ.

To say I didn't know about him, would be nonsense. I don't believe there's someone who doesn't know him and what has he done. The only thing I don't know is that I've no idea why he chose me. What he wanted from me. But he did gave me lots of gifts, mostly scars and bruises.

I've been told that when I returned at home my parents were in the living room. Looked like they were already died, swimming in their own blood pool. I didn't remember that. I didn't even remember anything until I woke up in the white room of the hospital.

The doc said I was found in my room with bruises, cuts and broken ribs and right arm. I was put in the coma after operations for healing property. It had been 6 months for now. The police officers were waiting for me to be questioned. It was the first time when the victim has survived so they needed to talk to me ASAP.

I agreed with the doc and he let the men enter the palate. I said I would help them if I could but they'd to know I didn't remember anything. They started asking me stuffs like where did I live? When was I getting home? Were my parents fighting with each other or not? Was I a depressed kid? Did I have much free time? What was I doing during it? Did I have friends? Names? Who did I trust the most? Why didn't I trust the others?

After an hour of questioning me, they finally started asking about that day. I repeated that I didn't remember anything but they weren't stopping. Did I see my parents? Yes. Were they fighting? No. Were they upset or nervous? I didn't notice. Did I see the man? Dunno. Did he say something? Dunno. Why didn't I protect myself? Did I wounded him?

That was until I didn't notice the nurse who was holding the vase full of the red roses. It was like the time has stopped and the stuffs lost their colors. I could see only red beautiful roses and behind them, a big bloody smiley face. The two bodies - laying on the carpet, swimming in their own blood. The man - sitting between them and the smiley. I could see his sad smile behind his mask. He was holding a knife but the gun was resting beside the vase full of red roses on the table. He stood up from the chair when he noticed me. He grabbed the knife tightly...

And I screamed!

Now I'm stuck in the hospital again. But this hospital is different. It's like I'm in the jail but there's everything white. And it's silence everywhere you look...

Dear Diary,

my name's Alice M. Lorens and I'm an insane, officially

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><p><strong>Hello <strong>**everyone. Yes I know I should look for my precious stories but this one was in my mind about too long and I couldn't help but write it down. Yesterday was my b-day! Yay! And my parents finally decided to fix my computer so as soon as I hold it I sat and wrote this chapter. I'm feeling like flying! It's so good to type on the keyboard ^_^ I'll be very happy if you guys will R&R 3 You can do that, can't you? Especially when It's about MY Simon Baker 3 God! I really want my own Patrick Jane ^_^ God can be good with me and send me him right? **


	2. Chapter 1

It's an original day. It's raining outside but the sky promises us better weather. I woke up an hour ago and bow I'm sitting in the white room on the mattress. I can see there's not too comfy bed but I prefer the mattress. It seems to be comfier than any other furniture.

I'm waiting for the nurse or whoever she is to bring me some food. It has to be the breakfast but for me it doesn't even matters. I just want her out from here. The soon the better. But she never leaves immediately. She cleans up the bed even though she knows I don't sleep there. She asks if I need something, then goes away.

This little bright room is getting on my nerves. It doesn't calming me down. I feel like a bird in the cage that's waiting for freedom. Difference between us is that I'm afraid of that freedom. I feel protected here. The outside world seems too dangerous for me. Even if I want to be released, I know I won't be. I don't have the stable psyche for that.

I don't know how long have I been here. Everything seems to happened yesterday even though I know it wasn't. I've not seen the doctor yet...or have I...? I don't remember at all. I realize I'm forgetting lots of memories about my family and my life.

The most annoying fact is that I can't even sleep. Not that I don't want to, but I can't. The nightmares are too real that I'm waking up panicked and only drugs can calm me down. But sometimes I can't control it. At those moments the only thing I see is the red bloody smiley on the walls...

And I scream...

Then laugh...

And cry...

I don't know where those smiley faces one the wall came from. Those smilies aren't the same as in my dreams. They are smiling at me but they aren't sad.

I look around. The light comes though the window and plays on the floor near me. The rest of the room is still dark. There isn't coming the happiness people share outside with the weather.

I curse under my breath. The rain was so good. I could almost feel how it was dripping om my skin and cleaned my scars. That was just my imagination, I know but the quiet sound of the drips in the roof made my soul sound and safe.

I stand and look around from the above. There's nothing strange about the room but something seems unfamiliar. Not the light, not the footsteps. The silence. They aren't crying, singing, laughing, screaming. Nothing like this. That's strange. This is the psychiatry hospital, full of the crazy and mad people. So I'm wondering why is here this kind of silence?

Sighing, I sit down on the mattress and wait. Soon the familiar woman opens the door, enters the room. I see the tall man and short brunette woman follow her. The man with bright blond curls and 100 watt smile, that can easily win any woman's heart. He's wearing three piece suit and brown shoes. I can't help but smile at him. He's hiding his true self behind the smiley mask he's wearing. I can see this smile doesn't reach his oceanic blue eyes.

His smile fades away as soon as he sees the wall. His eyes are full of fear and regret now. Those blue eyes aren't even trying to hid the mess inside them. The man's broken but he can hide this perfectly. It's bad he can't fool me.

I examine the woman beside him. Dark almost black hair reaches her shoulders. She's slim, very slim body like she's not eaten in weeks. Her green eyes show motherly love towards everyone they look at. She's better at hiding her true feelings behind the walls but I can sense she's as broken as the man and me.

She's not as affected as the blond but she tenses and looks at me in the eyes, then turns to the man and says in gentle voice

"Jane..."

The man reacts immediately, like he sobers from a dream and turns towards the nurse

"Thank you, Sarah, you can leave us now" she gives her a sly smile. Sarah blushes and murmurs

"Be careful, Mr. Jane. Last time she was questioned, she ended up here" Jane nods and the woman leaves. He smiles at me now and comes near the corner. He kneels before me and holds the hand out

"Hello there, young lady, my name's Patrick Jane and this is Teresa Lisbon. We are from the CBI" I reach his hand and shake it

"Alice Lorens" I reply politely

"Hello, Alice" he greets me again "We want to ask you some questions. Do you think you can answer them?" he asks carefully

"About...this?" I slip out my hand from his and point to the wall behind me. Jane nods and hunches. He touches my hands again and squeezes them

"Alic..."

"It's Lorens for you, Mr. Jane" I cut him off "and Agent Lisbon, why won't you sit on the bed? Don't worry, no one sleeps there" I smile at their surprised faces

"Alright, Alice" he calls me by my name again and looks at Lisbon, as if asks for permission to start. She nods and Jane turns to me "I want you to remember this day very well. Maybe you can help us"

"I'll try" I say dryly

"Fine. Did you know who killed your parents" I give him are-you-a-crazy look

"Red John" I shrug

"Can you tell me what happened that day?" asks Lisbon. Her voice is very sweet and gentle, different from Jane's "I know it was about half and year ago but still..."

Half and year? Wow! I spent half year in the hospital when I was in coma and now I'm stuck here about the year. Hmmm...

"That day wasn't different from the others. I woke up, had breakfast and left for school. My parents always leave when I'm sleeping so I wasn't surprised when I was alone in the whole house. When I returned home, there wasn't anything strange. The doors were closed, like I left the and the house was empty... at least, I thought so..." I stop to swallow. Jane and Lisbon exchange gazes

:You went in the house..." Jane helps

"I entered the living room. The first things I noticed was this..." I point to the smilies "then there were two dies bodies... my parents..."

"Was there someone else?"

"A man... I don't remember his face.. He was wearing the mask but somehow I could see his smile... He was smiling! At me!" Jane feels anger rises in me

"Okay, Alice, calm down" he squeezes my hand again

"He was waiting for me! I don't remember if he said something. But he...he forced me to wear this damned dress... It was red... beautiful but old... And there were those roses... He was prepared..." I look in his eyes and continue "The first cut he gave me was on the belly... then wrists and waist... chest... throat... but he didn't touch my back..." I'm breathing hardly now. This isn't easy to remember into details

"It's enough, I guess" Jane lets go my hands and stands up

"Did it help? I don't remember much things" Jane shakes the head and smiles

"You did help us, Alice. Thank you"

"We are sorry for your loss, Ms. Lorens" says Lisbon and they both turn to the dorr. I can't let them go that easily

"Mr. Jane..." I call him out. he turns back

"Yes, Alice?"

"I'm sorry for your loss too..." I smile gently at them "and Agent Lisbon... I'm pretty sure your family is alright. Just talk to them" her eyes widen. Jane just stares at me and then grins widely

"Let's go, Lisbon" he drags her outside

"But, Jane!" Lisbon protests "how did sh..."

Their voices disappear in the hall

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><p><strong>Yay! A new chapter!<strong>

**What about leaving a review? Hmmm?**

**I'll be very happy if you people do that :3**


	3. Chapter 2

**LouiseKurylo **** aww 3 thank you for your amazing review 3 it made my day ^_^**

**Now that's return to the story ^_^ I don't own nothing but only OCs. The other characters belong to their rightful owner.**

**I'm sorry for grammar mistakes XD I'm not a English girl ya know?**

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><p>It's been weeks since I saw them. Sarah made sure he smilies were gone within an hour. But I still managed to draw one big one. It's by my own blood now. I cut my fingers so I could create it again. Sarah almost freaked out when she first saw it. I didn't bother to explain why did I do that. It's not necessary. I just can't-won't forget that damned guy and his signature as long as I live. And I should be 17 mow. I've at least 60 years to live if he doesn't change his mind and won't kill me.<p>

I started acting more normally if it's possible for a girl who hasn't got stable psyche. Doc James let me out of the room. I can chat with the other patients. I can but I don't. I'm sure they won't understand me and some of them will freak out if i start 'reading minds' as Sarah calls my so=called gift.

One day Doc James enters my room with Sarah who is holding the bag. I'm sitting on the armchair beside the window and humming. Doc James smiles at me but before he says something, I cut him off

"So I can leave..." this isn't a question, just a mere fact. His widened eyes tell me I'm right. Sarah snaps and points out

"That's what I meant, Doc James. She's crazy! She's dangerous for people"

"I'm not crazy, Sarah" I laugh "I might have bad mental health but I can think very well" Sarah growls and leaves the room, dropping the bag on the bed. Doc James smiles at me again and sits down beside it

"Mind to tell me how did you figure it out?" he asks softly. I look out though the window

"She was catching the bag which isn't empty. That meant it was full of cloths. She wouldn't come with you to give me some cloths without reason" he rises brows "and you were pretty happy. You are happy that your wife is pregnant but that doesn't mean you have to be happy with the crazy girl. You are a professional so you never let your patients know what's going on in your mind. Today your eyes were practically sparkling along with Sarah's. She never was happy to have connection with me. So the conclusion is that tomorrow I'm leaving and because my house no longer is the crime scene, I can stay there as long as I want until I won't decide to sell it. Does that answer your question?" I grin when notice his widened eyes. He can't find proper words

"H-how...wow!" I shrug

"I don't read minds as Sarah thinks. I just happen to pay attention to everything. After all I'm not busy" Doc James stands up

"You are pretty good with reading people, Alice" I stand up as well. He's a lot taller than me so he's looking down at me. He comes near me and pulls me in the hug. He's shaking when he kisses my hair "I'm glad you are alright now"

"So am I, James" I pull back and smile at him "thank you for everything. Without you I wouldn't be able to take it easily. I know it sounds stupidly from me but if you even need anything, you can tell me" Doc James laughs slightly

"Don't worry, Alice, I'll save the mental note about it and every time I need help. you will be my first on my speed dial" I grin

"Tell Anna she has to take care herself. Having a baby will be very hard for her but she has to be strong. She'll hate herself and you too but don't worry, as soon as you two catch your son in your arms every worry will vanish somewhere as if there wasn't any" James tries not to be surprised anymore

"You sure it's a boy?" he asks doubtfully. I pout

"Come one, James! Right now I told your wife's name and said that she's pregnant and all you care is the kid being a boy?" James chuckles

"Okay, okay, you caught me" he hugs me once more "you are like a daughter I've never had, Alice. Don't be afraid to come back here. If you are too scared or if you can't go home. This is the hospital but you can come back and see me anytime you want. This room always will be yours" I close eyes and nod

"Thank you, James, I'll make sure to never forget that offer"

"You better" he treats and pulls back "I'll leave you now, it's late. Try to sleep..." suddenly he sighs, cutting himself off "at least try to close your eyes and pretend to be asleep. Tomorrow morning you can leave" he turns back and is about to open the door when I stop him

"James..."

"Hmm?" he turns back again

"Thanks for everything again...and I...just don't let someone erase this... " I point to the red face on the wal.. He nods and closes the door behind himself...

I'm free...

Finally...

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><p><strong>Yay! The new chapter! Very good! ^_^ I hope you like it lovelies :) :) wait for the reviews... The more the better :) :)<strong>


	4. Chapter 3

**I own nothing, but OCs and grammar mistakes :D bear with me :D**

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><p>Sarah packs my belongings in the bag and throws it to me. I catch it easily and flash her the grin<p>

"Come on, Sarah!" I pout "can't you at least be nice with me? It's not like we'll me again" she shoots me the glare

"That's what I'm looking forward" she frowns "I son't have any wish to see you again" I sigh dramatically

"Do you really think that I'm crazy, Sarah?" I ask her with fallen face

"Lissa..." her glare disappears "I don't hate you..." she comes near me and pats my shoulder "I've the daughter around your age so I know how to handle with them" she tries to smile "and I know you aren't crazy.. Broken maybe but not crazy. Did you know that I've been here all the time when you had break down? I was calming you down and singing so you could sleep property..." I freeze. My eyes are widened in shock and my mouth is dried

"B..but.. you... that attitude...?" I can't find my voice. She chuckles

"Come one, girl!" she tries to cheer me up "and you say you pay attention?" she grins at my shocked face "you are a second daughter to me, Lissa. I love you very much too... I was trying so hard so you couldn't notice I cared about you until you left. I didn't want you to think like you owe me as it happened with James" I shake the head stubbornly

"No way, Sarah! You had to tell me! I thought you couldn't stand me!" I protest her decision

"Well that happened already, you can't change something" she giggles. My head drops on my chest with sigh

"God!" Sarah embraces me, I put the head on her shoulder and hold the breath

"Remember what James told you, Lissa" she reminds me "you are always welcome here" she strokes my hair "I'll make sure this room will be always ready for you. James said he'll help me to decorate it so you can really think it's your own bedroom and not the room for patients" I nod. I feel my eyes tear up. I drop the bag and wrap the arms around her shoulders

"Thank you, Sarah, that you so much. You've no idea how lot it means to me" I sob in her chest. She rubs my back so I can calm down a little

"Come one now, Lissa" I wipe tears away "better?" I laugh loudly

"You are a very good caretaker, Sarah. I think you can help your sister-in-law" her eyes almost are popped out. I chuckle "did you really think it wasn't easy to see similarities between you and James You two are siblings, it's as obvious as my name is Alice"

"I guess I can help Anna with the kid" says Sarah when she recovers from shock

"It's a boy, isn't it?"

"I won't ask you how do you know that" she grins

"You better not"

"Okay now, Ms Obvious, take this damned bag and return to your house" I close eyes

"I've to buy the cellphone first"

"Money is in the bag, kid" she puts the bag in my hands and flashes the paper before my eyes "those are James and mine numbers. You know you can call us anytime" I grab it tightly

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><p>I always hated to admit my defeat. Mom used to be so angry about my stubbornness but I thought it was good think and it meant I was strong. How wrong I was. I never realized this until I didn't lost everything I'd in my life.<p>

Standing in the middle of the street, I looked around miserably. There's no thing I recognize. Where the hell am I? And where the hell is my house? Those are questions I needed to answer immediately, the others could wait. I could catch the taxi but I didn't know the address so this didn't help. Sarah once told me I was in Sacramento, California but what was I doing here? Why the hell was I in the USA when I wasn't living there?

Realization hit me too hard. I told the wrong dream version to the police. I wasn't coming back from school when that happened. I remembered everything clearly. What I needed was to search for CBI and tell the agents the truth.

I crossed the road and stopped the taxi

"Hello, there" the driver greeted

"Hi. Can you bring me to the CBI HQ?" I asked as politely as I could

"Of course, sit. Did something happen yo you, young one?" he asked when I opened the door and sat

"No, sir" I shook the head "I've someone to see there"

"Alright" we drove in silence until the car didn't reach the CBI. I pain the driver and inhaled deeply

'Calm down, Lice. You can do it. There's nothing to worry about. You will tell the watchman, you've to see Agent Lisbon and you'll explain everything to her. See? That's easy'

I exhaled and crossed the road again. The watchman stopped me and asked my name

"Who are you and what are you doing here?"

"Name's Alice Lorens. I'm here to meet Agent Lisbon about the case"

"What case?" I shot him deadly glare

"Sir, I just want to meet Agent Lisbon to talk about the case. You've to know that I can't tell the passer-by about it, right?" I asked him in sweet voice. His expression changed as soon as he hear my words. He shook the head and murmured

"I'll go, call Agent Lisbon" he left immediately. Then he returned and said I could go "the bullpen is on the fourth floor, Ms Lorens" he let me though the gates

"Thank you, sir" I waved him and sighed

'Step 2, Alice. Enter the building and tell the secretary, you are allowed above. Nothing particular. Nothing at all'

I went though the glassed door and almost bumped into someone. I apologized immediately and examined him. The Asian man about 30s with stoic face. Exactly who I wanted to meet. Damn you, Alice! He looked down at me and shook the head

"Who are you, girl?" he asked coldly

"Alice Lorens" I noticed my name made a sense. Voila! I'm saved! He nodded ad replied

"Follow me, Boss is waiting for you" I followed him to the elevator. He pressed the 4. The door opened and I saw the bullpen. The man pointed towards the brown leather couch

"Sit here and wait" I shrugged and did what I was told. I noticed the red-haired pretty woman who seemed to be new here, watching at me carefully. She avoided my gaze and turned to the tall man who was eating

"Wayne, I guess I found something" the man swallowed and replied

"What is it?"

"The last call wasn't made by the victim. She was already died when they called her daughter. It seems to be the killer but what I find strange is that Ms Lender said she didn't receive the call. That has to be truth, her phone was in the car when she was with her friends"

"I'll go, talk to the Boss" Wayne guy put the sandwich on the desk and grabbed the results. He knocked on the door Asian man had disappeared though

"Come in" I heard woman's voice and he stepped in the office. I looked the woman before me and talked

"I don't think she's lying"

"What?" she snapped when heard my voice

"the daughter" I explain "you said her phone was in the car but someone talked to the victim, right? It's possible the killers had both phones. This way they could make the call and answer it too so they could lie easily and the call wouldn't be in missed calls list"

"Why are you so sure?" she asked doubtfully. I shrugged

"Better question the daughter again and ask her who gave her the ride. Women never leave their phones n the cars. It's obvious the car wasn't hers. Someone drove her where she went"

"You mean the guy who gave her the ride, made sure her phone was left so he could answer the call and make the scene as if the daughter and the mother talked?" I grinned slyly

"Exactly" she blinked in astonishment

"How do you know tha...? she was cut off by the voice

"Van Pelt, good job" the red-haired smiled and nodded. Lisbon who existed the cabinet, turned to me

"Let's go in my office, Ms Lorens, so we can talk without interrupting"

I followed her in the room. The men had left while I was talking to Van pelt so we were alone. She sat across the desk and pointed me before her. I sat down and sighed

"So what did you have to tell me?" she asked softly

"Agent Lisbon, I know when you and Mr Jane questioned me, I didn't give you anything that could help but what I told you wasn't truth" Lisbon frowned

"Are you saying that you lied?" I shook the head

"No, of course. Look..." I inhale deeply "I've lots of nightmares and what I told was one of them. That day I wasn't at school. I was returning from my friend's house when I found them died"

"Why weren't you at school?" I bit by bottom lip and drew the blood

"I...that day was... my birthday, ma'am"

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><p><strong>So, here's another chapter. I hope I would be able to update tomorrow too XD but I'm not sure yet. Fortunately tomorrow is Friday and I'll be free for awhile from school. XD Hmm... I'm interested what happened to Alice for real... But, wait. I'm the writer XD I know it XD just to be clear, I'm using myself as the main character. Thanks God, my parents are sound and safe XD but still I find lots of similarities between myself and Alice XD _ wait fot the reviews!<strong>


	5. Chapter 4

Lisbon tried not to be surprised by Alice's words. She knew she'd to listen to the girl. After all there weren't many people especially teens who would come and say the truth to the police. Lisbon knew Lorens was the only way to find Red John. She thought her survival was just a mistake and they had to use it property. Looked like this girl was going to help them too.

Similarities between Lorens and Jane shocked Lisbon when she first met her. She was the one who found her parents and she was put in the hospital for a year... just like Jane.. But she could't understand why Jane wanted this girl with them. Jane managed to persuaded her and they met Lorens's doctor. He told them the girl was found by the police. Someone called and told there was a girl with several cuts and bruises at the crime scene. She woke up from coma after six months. then she was transferred in the psychiatry clinic. The doctor told them Lorens was receiving the red roses from someone. He was keeping them because he knew she would freak out because she did so when she first saw them in the hospital. Jane decided he had to see the girl no matter what. First he wanted to hypnosis her but when they saw those smilies on the wall, he decided against it. When she told them that she was sorry about their losses, Lisbon was completely in shock. How did that girl know about their problems? She needed answers but Jane didn't let her.

Now Lisbon was sitting in front of her and listening to the truth. The girl's parents were murdered on her birthday. The most terrible present that could be received that day. Lisbon wanted to comfort her but first she had the job to do

"Wait a minute, Ms Lorens, I'll call Jane and then we can continue"

Lisbon left the office and pulled out the phone. She found his number and dealed it

'Come one, Jane, come on'

After seconds she heard oh so familiar voice

"What is it, Lisbon, miss me already?" she could tell she saw him smirking

"Wipe that damned grin off of your face, Jane!" she snarled. Jane chuckled

"What happened, Lisbon?"

"Where the hell are you?"

"At the victim's house, why?"

"Come back to the HQ right now, Jane. There must be news about Red John" she noticed how his breathing became heavily

"Did...did he..." she cut off his shaking voice

"No, no" she shook the head even though he couldn't see "it's about Alice Lorens"

"Ah!" Jane exclaimed "what happened to her?" he exhaled with relief

"She is my my office now, Jane. She said what she told us was one of her nightmares"

"So she lied?"

"No, Jane...she...damn it!" she cursed under her breath "just come back, ok?"

"I'll be there in half hour. Make sure she tell you everything"

"Alright" she hung up and ignored the gazes her Agents gave her. She went in her cabinet and closed the door behind herself. Lorens was standing before the window. Lisbon sat on the chair

"We better wait for him, right?" Asked Lorens

"You can tell me everything, Ms Lorens. He'll join us soon" Lorens nodded but didn't sit down

"Agent Lisbon, the only thing you have to know is that my family isn't-I meant-wasn't living in USA. Mom and Dad wanted to live here and I didn't hamper they. I was going in the school near my house. I don't have many friends here so I wasn't close with someone but when the classmates heard I'd birthday in that week, they decided to celebrate it together... I received petty good presents, didn't I?" she chuckled bitterly

"That's...how can I say... horrible"

"I know" Lorens shrugged "but we can do nothing about it"

"Is there anything else you've to tell me, Ms Lorens?"

"Yes, there is" Lorens turned back and faced Lisbon "I'm pretty sure Red John didn't choose this day accidentally. Everything was planned. he knew I would freak out, that's why he sent me those red roses. He made sure I was locked in the hospital. I don't know why he needed to do that but I guess he was visiting me sometimes to check my condition"

"Why would he do that?"

"Ma'am" Lorens smirked "have you ever et a serial killer who almost kills the victim and then calls the ambulance so she can be saved? I don't think so..."

"I once said you were pretty interesting girl, Alice"

Lisbon jumped when Jane entered the room with the blue cup in his hands

"And I'm repeating it again. You are a very interesting girl" he smiled at her slyly. Lorens blinked when saw him but returned the smile

"It's Lorens for you, Mr Jane" she grinned widely "and thanks for compliment. By the way it'll be better if I continue, right?"

Jane sat on the couch and sipped his tea. He eyed Lisbon who nodded and then asked

"You think he called the police so you could survive?" Lorens nodded

"Yes, sir. I know Red John is a blood thirsty bastard but he decided I was important. I don't know exactly why or how but I'm sure he'll find me in these days"

"And the red roses?" Jane examined her reaction. She winced but shook the head

"I don't know what's so important about them. I never really liked red roses. But let's think logically, I'm the only one who survived, right? He won't let me go this easily"

Jane sipped the tea again. This girl was strange. She was clever for her age. She knew what to say and when but she also had a quick eye. When he first saw her, he thought he was watching Lisbon's young self. her honey almost green eyes were reading though lines. He knew she read him too so he wasn't surprised when she said she was sorry about his losses. And now it was like she was saying everything but her self was well were thinking almost at the same time and about the same thing. Both of them were sure Red John would find her and she wanted them to catch him; His thoughts were interrupted by Lorens's voice

"Agent Lisbon, may I leave now?" Lisbon who was watching them carefully, nodded

"Of course, Ms Lorens" she stood up. Alice shook her hand and turned to Jane. He jumped up and flashed his 100 watt smile

"Nice to meet you, Alice" the girl sighed

"Same her, Mr Jane" she shook his hand too and walked towards the door "Oh! And..." she turned back quickly and smirked" I already told Agent Van Pelt to check the daughter and her friends' alibi. You might find something interesting about them" with that she waved and left Jane and Lisbon alone. Jane chuckled and looked at his Boss who seemed to be shocked

"Did...did you.." she opened the mouth but closed it several times "Did you hear that?" she exclaimed. Jane gave her wolfish smile

"I told you one of the daughter's friends had an affair with the relatives, Lisbon"

"But Jane! You talked to them and she...she didn't!" Lisbon couldn't believe her ears

"Well, dear Lisbon, I also said she was a very interesting girl" Lisbon shot him The Lisbon Glare

"Shut up, Jane!" Jane kept the smiley face and looked down at his cup pitifully

"Hmm... another cup of tea won't be bad" with these words he left the room

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><p><strong>I finished! The next chapter! Yay! I hope I'll justify your hopes, dear readers ^_^ Now wait for another chapter and I'll wait for another reviews ^_^ <strong>


	6. Chapter 5

**Okay, don't kill me :3 I know I know that I didn't update faster but sorryy :3 I'd lots of at school and I couldn't :D lame reason I know :D but still, I'm here now so here's next chapter**

**I own nothing TT_TT I wish I did but only grammar mistakes are mine TT_TT**

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><p>I could hear Lisbon's voice when I went near Van Pelt. She stopped typing on the keyboard and smiled at me<p>

"Ms Lorens, you were right" I returned the grin

"I'm glad" she nodded and continued her work. I looked around the bullpen. We were alone in the office. Van Pelt noticed my hesitate and asked politely

"Can I help?"

"Yes, actually" I pointed to the empty desk before her "can I use it for awhile?"

"Well, you better ask Jane, that desk is his anyway" I raised the brows

"He doesn't even use it" I remarked "just for a minute, I'll find something and then I'll leave, I promise"

"Alright, then"

I put the bag on the couch and sat on Jane's chair. I switched the comp and easily hacked into the CBI site. Then searched for the files about Red John and my family and sent them to my e-mail. After that I looked for the address of my house, memorized it and cleared the history, logged out from the site and switched the comp off. I stood up

"I finished it, Agent Van Pelt, thank you"

"You are welcome, Ms Lorens" I nodded, took my bag and entered the elevator.

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><p>Now, I'm standing in front of my so-called house and I can't even force myself to take a step and touch the handle. I'm screwed up and so scared at the same time. I don't know what's waiting for me inside. I've no idea if this damned smiley face is still on the wall or if those roses are still in the room, withered.<p>

I know I've to be strong. I've to open the door and step inside. And I do what I've to do. I took the steps towards the front door and took the deep breath, then opened it. It's dark inside. I reach for the switch and turn the lights on. There's everything as I remembered. The furniture is on the same place but some things are missing. I realize they were broken that night. Nothing big but still very noticeable stuffs like vases and cups Mom used to love. I look at the empty placed and sigh. There's nothing I can do about the pain I feel right now. I inhaled deeply before stepping in the living room. I was right... as always. The smiley face looks at me creepily. Alright, not creepily but still, yeah.

I turn around and saw the big sofa in the middle of the room. The carpet is missing. I put the bag down and enter the kitchen. There's dust everywhere. I guess I need to clean the house up, not that it will be the first time. I open the cupboards and took the glass, then wash it and out in the table. The glass is actually the big cup, green one. Dad used to love this cup. He was smiling at Mom before good morning kiss and then sipping his coffee. I feel butterflies in my stomach. The air sick doesn't stop but I pill the glass with water and drink it silently. It seems to call me down a little.

The grumble makes me think about food. Not that I really remembered what I saw eating at the clinic. But the fridge would be empty so I took the money and close the front door behind me, even if someone will breaks inside it. I chuckled at the thought. At least I won't be afraid of robbery.

I see the store in the corner of the street. I walk inside and choose some fruits and vegetables. I make sure to buy lots of potatoes, seems centuries since I last tasted them. I also grab some coffee and milk, then bread, butter and the cake called Napoleon. My favorites as always. It's strange to buy them since I've never bought them before. I order the annoying voice inside me to shut up and pay for food The seller looks at me and her eyes show astonishment now. She seems too happy to have me in her store. I feel like I'll throw up if I won't leave this place soon. I grab the paper bags and head towards the house. I lock the door behind me and release the breath I didn't notice I was holding. I feel protected now but this feeling goes away when I see the face. I try to ignore it and head towards the kitchen. I pill the fridge and curse as I remember I forgot eggs and bacon. I set the kettle on the stove and prepare the coffee. I cut Napoleon and eat it slowly, tasking the caffeine. The aroma is so good it's hard to not drink it immediately but that's not how the coffee has to be drunk. I was the cup but leave it in the shell.

Then I leave the house again, now for a real shopping. I've to but a very good and useful cellphone, the one that won't annoy the hell out of me, then I can check out my room and the computer and read all those files I 'stole' from CBI.

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><p>I can't bring myself to look at the screen. I know it shouts RED JOHN without even looking at it. I take deep breath before sitting on the bed and eying the computer. Annoyed by my strangeness, stupidity and fear I shut it down from the charger and turn the lights off. I need to sleep property or I won't be able to go to school tomorrow. I've to talk to the principal to let me study again. Red John Case can wait till tomorrow.<p>

I'm pretty sure I won't be able to sleep tonight. I know my insomnia will takes over and I've to face the night alone. I realize how I hate being alone now. I've never noticed this before. Maybe because I still had Sarah and James's company. And now loneliness is noticeable.

Cut the crap!

I command and hide under the blanket. I just wish today won't be the day when Red John decides to make me realize I'm not forgotten...

At least, people can dream, can't they?

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><p><strong>Soo! I finished! Lorens will meet the principal in the next chapter so wait for it ^_^<strong>

**Until the next time everyone!**


	7. Chapter 6

**Hmm... I was thinking about the last reviews where you guys say Alice might be Charlote. To say truth I don't know :D this may be right... or not :D hehe :D I mean, she really is skilled as Jane, right? So she can be his daughter.. But she can also be his other relative or actually not... Not that I'm gonna tell you something... I'm just super happy that you read this story ^_^**

**I don't own something besides Alice and grammar mistakes TT_TT even thought I would like to know English very well TT_TT**

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><p>Great! Just great! I always hated principals and their stupid rules, now I've to watch how Mr Jones eyes me when he thinks I can't see that. He's stunned, I can say. he wasn't waiting for my appearance and now he can't find words. I chuckle inside. That happens always, I'm not surprised or angry, just annoyed. It's creepy to think I would stay insane for the rest of my damned life. Tch!<p>

I decide it's enough and stand up. Mr Jones pulls back and opens mouth but I interrupt him

"Mr Jones, I'm not here to watch you pity me. You know me enough well to know I don't need it. I'm ere to ask you let me study again but if you think you can't let the insane girl study in your school, then I'll leave"

Mr Jones jumps up at my words. He seems touched but also suprised. Nobody talks to him like this

"Ms Lorens, you know pretty well, you were our beststudent even though you didn't attend classes. You paren..." he stops talking when seems my glare "I didn't mean to.." I stop him with raised hand

"It's alright, sir" he sighs

"I know you aren't crazy, maybe you've not stable psyche but I guess you can join your old class again" I raise brow. Something's not right. I've met him before about thousands of times and I know he's very harsh but now he even apologizes

"Like this?" I ask doubtfully "no papers to sign? No exams? No meeting with teachers?" he notices he's still standing and he sits down. Then writes something and gices me the piece of the paper

"Go to the library and show this to Ms Ston, she'll give you the books, then you can go in your class, it's room 114. When schools ends, come back here"

I grit teeth. That damned man ignored my question. Geez! I hope Ms Sto doesn't have any problems with me. I roll eyes and grab the paper, then say bye and leave the office. the library was on the first floor as I remembered. I walked downstairs and examine the rooms. Here's the library! I knock and wait for the librarian to open the door. After two more knocks she decides to open it. I see the coffe mug in the hands of the young brunette woman. She almost chockes the liquid

"Alice?" she sounds shocked. I chuckle and step inside

"May I?" she nods and closes the door behind me

"Sure, come in" I look around. Everything is still the same as I remember. I notice new books on some shelves. I turn back when hear noise of the kettle. Ms Ston gets the new cup and prepares the hot coffee with milk for me. I smile. She remembers I like milk. I grab the mug and inhale the scent

"Hmm" I murmur "perfect. Thanks, Ms Ston" she raises the bros

"Since when were you calling me Ms Ston?" I giggle

"Sorry, Lucy"

"Geez! Girl!" she tries to exclaim "I was so damned worry about you, you know after..." she trails off. I nodded

"It's okay, Lucy. I'm fine now" I smile "and I'm allowed to study here" her eyes sparkles at my words

"That's perfect, honey" she puts the mug down and embraces me. I grab the cup more tightly

"Careful, Lu!" I exclaim. She pulls back and blinks, then realizes what I meant and bursts out laughing "what so funny?" I pretend to be angry. Lucy can't stop laughing

"Oh! God..." she's panting "I...hahaha.." she hits my head "Alice! It's been almost two years we haven't met and what you do is caring about coffee" she wants to look angry but fails miserably. I know her pretty well

"Well, sorry, dear, but I'm caffeine attached" she watches me for a minute and then sighs dramatically

"As if I didn't know" I smile widely

"I'm so glad to meet you again, Lucy" she returns the smile

"Come here and hug me, Ali" I put the cup on the table and wrap arms around her shoulders. We're standing so about minutes then I pull back. Lucy eyes me carefully

"Ali..." I look at her, pretend to not know what she's going to ask "how are you feeling?" I put the happy-go-lucky girl's mask and grin at her

"I'm perfectly fine, Lu, why?" she shakes the head

"Stop pretending to not know what I meant, Ali" she cups my cheek and strokes it. She's taller than me so she looks down at me. I can see unshed tears in her brown eyes. I wince. That's definitely not what I want. I put my mask back and try to lighten up the mood

"Come one, Lu. I'm fine, really. There's no need to worry about me"

"Should I trust you?" ske asks. No. I want to tell her but can't. Her mptherly attitude will take over immediately and I don't want to remember my parents right now. So I nod slightly and tickle her waist a little

"Of course you should!" I exclaim loudly and laugh. Lucy seems to fail noticing my trap. Her eyes lighten up and she puts the grin on her face

"That's good, Ali. You are a very good girl. You deserve happiness"

That won't happen until he lives. I can't tekk her that. I know what her answer will be so I won't say anything. Lucy won't understand what I want... need to do.

"Come on, Ms Ston" I hold the paper the principal gave me out "I need books" I look down at my watch "the lesson will be end soon"

"Lucy takes the paper and signs it, then searches for the books and handles them

"Here they are, honey" I nod and throw them in my bag. It's pretty heavy!

"What the... Damn! You sure they are boks and not rocks?" Lucy laughs loudly

"I'm sure, honey. Nopw woosh before I'll kick you out" I fake the frown

"You just dare, Ms Ston, and we'll see what happens" I kiss Lucy's cheek and leave the library. Next stop, the room number 114.

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><p><strong>Alright everyone. I know it took tomorrow to update the new chapter but it's New Year days now! I was pretty busy, preparing for it! XD<strong>

**Happy New Years, my readers!**

**Wish you happiness, love and luck ^_^**

**Don't forget to leave the review ^_^ they make my day XD**

**P.S. sorry about the grammar mistakes XD**


	8. Chapter 7

**Hello, everyone. Marry Christmas ^_^ wish you everything best in the world 3**

**I decided to update the next chapter sooner :3 glad I did :D**

**Now about the last review. I can't say there's some connection with RJ and Mr Jones, maybe there is and not. If I say something it'll ruin everything. I've to remind you this story is about the teenegar girl from her point (except some chapters). This is focused about her life after her parents' death and of course the crime but I can't just jump from here to the point where Jane and Lisbon are in RJ Case. I'm making sure Alice will read the notes about RJ but it won't happen so soon, maybe in the next chapter or so, just be patient and wait.**

**I know the story seems to be not so clear but if I write everything clear then It'll be an one-shot. Reviews are also welcome, not send me flames plz XD.**

**P.S. just so you know, everyone I mention is the important character.**

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><p>I knock on the door and wait for the teacher to open it. I know from Lucy most of the teachers and classmates are new so I've to introduce myself once again. I'm not really enjoying it but I've no choice. After all some of my so-called friends are still in the class.<p>

I hear someone grabs the handle and opens the door. The tall slim woman about 40s with black eyes, brown short hair and the from on her face examins me from the hair to toe and frowns more (if posssible XD)

"What do you want?" she asks rudely. I raise the brow in surprise

"I'm the new student in this class, ma'am" the woman raises the brows too

"But I've not been informed about the new student"

_**'I don't give a crap about it' **_I think.

I've the huge urge to just walk away but I can't so I explain as politely as I can

"I just finished talking with Mr Jones" I hand her the paper and smirk "may I?" I ask slightly. The woman reads the note, then nods and stands away so I can walk in.

Once my old classmates see me, I hear them gasp. Some of them exclaims, some goggles eyes. Most of them are shocked to see me but I still smile at them

"I'm your maths teacher Mrs Clinton"

"Ali?" I shiver when hear the familiar voice. I look up at the owner. The little and very slim girl with the blond hair in high ponytail and green eyes looks at me strangely. I sigh

"Long time no see you, Kate. What's up, shocked to see me?" Mrs Clinton blinks in surprise and looks between us

"You know them?" I look inside her eyes and flash her the sly smile

"Mrs Clinton, it's nice to meet you. My name's Alice Lorens and yes, most of the class know me because I'm their old classmate"

Mrs Clinton nods and points towards the empty desk

"Sit there, Ms Lorens, so we can continue the lesson. I'm sure you have your books"

Yes, ma'am" I shrug, head towards the desk and try my best to ignore the looks I receive from the entire class. I eye Kate and motion that we'll talk after the lesson is end. Kate nods and turns to the Mrs Clinton.

I sigh deeply. I've to explain to Kate where I was and what was I doing the whole time I desappeared. That's extremely hard because both of us know if it wasn't Kate who decided to celebrate my birthday, my parents wouldn't be 6 feet under the ground.

I examine my friend carefully. I notice how Kate's shaking and is trying er best to hold the tears in her eyes, She's blaming herself een after the years. I understand everything pretty well but I'm not blaming her. No, I know Red John would find the way to make me be away from the house for his work. So I'm ready to calm her down and mke sure the incident won't shatter my friend's life if it didn't already. And if it did, then I'll do everything to make her realize, nothing was her fault

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><p>The bell practically saved the class from the test Mrs Clinton was going to bring. The teacher sighed deeply and pointed me 'come here'. I stood up and walked near her table. Mrs Clinton was writing in the journal, then she looked up at me<p>

"Ms Lorens, I've to worn you that you with your arrival, harmed my lesson. I don't like when students do that and mostly I send them to the headmaster. Just because you are the new here doesn't mean I'm going to forgive you that. You could simply wait fpr the lesson to be finished. I won't send you to Mr Jones but I'll make sure he knows about it"

My jaw dropped while my eyes widened. Was I imaging or this woman just threatened me? I frowned. Most of the times fire flashed in my eyes when I'm angry (people used to tell me that) so I wasn't surprised when I saw her scared. I gritted the teeth and snarled

"Mrs Clinton, there's nothing you've to forgive me because I've not done something wrong. If you think I'm afraid of you treats or Mr Jones, you are very wrong. I'm not such a girl that can be scared by something as lame as this. It's obvious you can control students very well. I think you just don't know how to do that so, please, don't judge me because you can do something" she looked extremely surprised when I relplied harshly. She pushed the glassed over her nose and eyed me strictly

"Ms Lorens, are you telling me I don't know hw to teach students?" my frown disappeared and I smirked at her

"You heard me very well, Mrs Clinton"

"Tha's the abuse, Ms Lorens"

"Really, Mrs Clinton? I didn't notice, thaks fo enlighten me up" I replied sarcastically. The teacher blushed and stood up immediately

"Ms Lorens!" she exclaimed so loudly that we received the attention of all of my classmates "I tell you as the advise, don't joke with me. I'm your teacher and I've many rights. You've not come yet so don't maje me send you there where you came from" I kept my smirk just rolled eyes

"Mrs Clinton, I don't really care about this. Ican prefectly well go where I came from, unfortunately I'm afraid the hospital won't receive me back"

Mrs Clinton's eyes widened when she heard the word hospital. She xamined me again and frowned, then took her hag and walked towards the door. I kept my eye on her. As soon as she disappeared in the corner I burst out laugher. It was just a miracle that the teacher already found me hampering. Well, I really wasn't waiting foe thins. But I guessed this could be funny, actually very funny.

I shrugged slightly and headed towards my desk. I took the notebooks and books and threw them in the bag. I felt someone touched my shoulder shyly. I turned back and eyed Kate. She wasn't looking at me. She seemed very affected by my appearance. I sighed deeply and tried to force myself smile.

"Hello there, Kate, long time no see you" Kate nodded and murmured

"Hello, Ali" there was the awkward silence between us as we walked towards the next class. I found out we'd most of the periods together. I got annoyed by silcence and broke it

"Well, how do you do? Hoe's life going?" Kate rubbed the back of her neck

"Everything's right" she whispered

"Lair" I said quietly. Her eyes shot up at me

"I'm not lying"

"Oh, yeah, I believed" I nodded "Kate, you know I can tell when you are lying me. So please, don't"

"Well, what can I say, Ali? Should I just come and apologize? We both know if it wasn't me nothing would have happen" Kate looked away. I frowned and grabbed her hand

"Kate!" I called her sharply "we both know it wasn't your fault. He would have find the way to finish his job. I'm sure of it. Don't blame yourself, you've done anything wrong"

"It doesn't matter now"

"Yes, it doesn't matter" I agreed. She looked surprised

"Wh-what?" I smiled at her and stepped in the class. I found the desk on the corner and sat on the chair. Kate stood in front of me "What do you mean, ALi?" I sighed again

"Kate, I know you wonder where I was and all, but whatever I'll tell you doesn't have something with you, okay?" she nodded

"Alright, now tell me what's going on?"

"You heard Red John killed my family, right?"

"Yes, there was the telecast about it but I don't know it everything was correct" I nodded

"I see. Kate, Red John is the serrial killer and all I know about him is that he doesn't kill without the reason. He killed my parents but I survived. I was injured so much, I spent the whole 6 months in the hospital, in coma" she winced but I shushed her "let me finish, Kate. After that I had the mental break and I was forced to spent my days in the clinic. Right now, I'm fine, Kate. If I wasn't, the doctor wouldn't let me out, isn't it so?" she nodded "and you, suffering here and blaming yourself, make everything worse. I can't come at school and watch you when I'm here and I'm not killing myself because I lost my parents, do you understand, Kate?"

Kate stayed sileny for awhile, realizing all of the words I told her and then sighed

"Yes, I understand, ALi" I grinned widely

"Very well, now promise me that you won't come here with that soure expression, I noticed you were wearing on the Maths" Kate smiled a little

"I'll try, I promise"

"Good"

Mission accomplished


End file.
